This is Louise!
This week’s Louise is Kristen Scott Thomas’s wonderful Fleabag cameo <3

Episode Fifteen

15.1 Intentions for my 36th year on earth

15.2 From Becoming More Fully Human, an interview with Virginia Satir on Thinking Allowed with Dr. Jeffery Mishlove, 1998

Episode Fourteen — Listen

14.1 I think I’m learning to relax?

Episode Thirteen — Listen

13.1 Today I allowed myself to express my tenderness to others and you know what? it made everything better, more manageable, and more full of love

Episode Twelve — Listen

12.1 Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you

12.2 A Rilke poem to hold in your heart

12.3 William Butler Yeats said

Episode Eleven — Listen

11.1 You should know first that I feel better now
11.2 I don’t care if you’re just buttering my bread, I’ll take it because it feels great to take it

Episode Ten — Listen

10.1 Excerpt from Psychiatry and the Sacred by Jacob Needleman

Episode Nine — Listen

9.1 I have felt repellent this week, I think I was truly repelling people, except not today, so maybe it’s lifting
9.2 Laughter is a lubricant

Episode Eight — Listen

8.1 Rewatching The Door in the Floor (grief/eroticism/Kim Basinger/New England/salt)
8.2 He teared up and then I teared up

Episode Seven — Listen

7.1 A good list from Core Competencies of Relational Psychoanalysis (Roy E. Barsness, editor)
7.2 Erving Polster videos tonight!
7.3 What ifs
7.4 Regarding change

Episode Six — Listen

6.1 This week has been a test
6.2 An honest question

Episode Five — Listen

5.1 Unscheduled time
5.2 Cradled by the day
5.3 I made an orange bundt cake today (she bakes now)
5.4 An excerpt from Trauma and Memory by Peter Levine
5.5 Another excerpt from Trauma and Memory by Peter Levine

Episode Four — Listen

4.1 Is this good?
4.2 “Severe” look
4.3 The 4th floor
4.4 Rhan can’t stop thinking about Blade
4.5 I think I might be a Buddhist now?


5.1 Unscheduled time

I am off for seven days starting today! Time for

  • books
  • incense
  • coffees to go
  • talks
  • podcasts
  • (1) therapy session
  • housework
  • brisk walks
  • art
  • plants
  • phone calls (tbd)
  • looks maintenance?

My hope for this time is to savor and restore myself!

Update, 11:53PM: I took a bath and now I feel a bodywide relaxation and warmth, it is lasting and sensual, I feel very good right now. Today’s theme was “Easing In,” I set my expectations low, and I thought of it like the buffer travel day you build into a trip. I’ll need one at the end, too.

I watched End Game and A Better Man. I read Alice Miller and a little bit of Peter Levine. This morning I finished Tonight I’m Someone Else. I did a load of towels. I ate instant noodles and, later, beef skewers. The sun was out for the first time in many days and I felt the whole community perk up. It is new for me to notice things like that.

Last night I said to Rhan, “Sometimes I just want to watch something with movie stars in it.” I felt relief after saying that, which I didn’t know I would feel until I felt it.